To Live-In Or Not To Live-In

When are you getting married is the most frequently asked question to girls and boys who come of age in an Indian society. Is marriage the only option or an alternative waits to be unveiled. The live in concept has slowly crept into the conservative yet ever-evolving Indian culture

‘Live-in-relationship’ is a living arrangement in which an unmarried couple lives together in a long-term relationship that resembles a marriage. It provides the youth an opportunity to know their partner before marriage without engaging in a legally binding relationship with them. India is a country of culture, religions and traditions and at the same time a country which is developing fast and embracing the global changes faster. When it comes to finding answers for such paradigms, we first need to come out of the right and wrong mindset. So let us weigh the pros and cons

PROS

  • The people involved, get to know each other’s characteristics, financial potential, physical and emotional strengths, family background, close relatives and so forth, which eliminates the element of surprise or horror when the relationship is sealed
  • Sharing and division of expenses
  • Neither of the partners is dependant on each other financially, socially or legally, so there is mutual respect in their relationship giving each other the space they need
  • A sense of maturity develops which becomes  a strong foundation of a lifelong relation
  • They can decide whether a long-term relationship is an option and if there are compatibility issues, they can walk out of the relationship
  • Also saves one from the expenses of a big fat Indian wedding and legal hassles associated with separation

CONS

  • The biggest drawback of a Live-in relationship is the social stigma attached to it in the Indian society. Even Indian parents are  not open to such ideas because of the notoriety attached to it
  • There is no sense of security in a live-in relation, be it emotional, financial or mental. A person can be led astray without giving a second thought. Does not give a person a sense of stability or a sense of dependability or even a sense of settling down
  • As there is no accountability, partners may suddenly break up the relationship which may cause emotional trauma to the other person involved
  • The possibility of one party exploiting the other, physically, emotionally or financially is high as there is no credibility towards society or the families.
  • Chances of getting bored and walking out are also high
  • Though no commitment but emotional attachment is always part of a relation which does affect the people involved, married or not
  • Though live-in relationships are legalized in the country and an act is legislated to protect women from an abusive relationship, but Legitimacy, and Inheritance, maintenance of children born out of wedlock presents a dilemma to the Indian Courts

Some may perceive it as a trivialization of responsibilities that come with a relationship as well as an effort to maximize the fun and fantasy part of life and eliminating the pain part. Some people may be of the view that live in reduces the number of divorces and the mental torture families go through also reduces domestic violence as the partner can leave anytime. Does it really? Thoughtworthy!

As society evolves, its values change and new experiments take place.  In a country like ours, live-in relationship culture will take time to establish.  It is more of an alternative, that leads to the more established institution of Marriage. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step; so is living in that first step towards a happily after story?

By NSS

25th January 2018

 

“Trust” is the name of relationship

What does relationship means? Relationship is a “TRUST” and “CARE”.
Relationship does not mean how much time you spent together, but it is how much you trust, how much you love, how much care you have for each other. Relationship means honesty. In any relationship every human being has expectations from each other but good relations last only when we are aware of our expectations, behaviour, actions, words, facial expressions, attitude, attention. At times we feel neglected because of our unreasonable expectations. Every relationship can be made stronger through good communication. Unfortunately, most people don’t learn to communicate effectively as they grow in age. When we are small we learn to speak, but what to speak, when and where to speak it takes life time to learn. In any relation effective communication is necessary.
It would be a great care if you understand other person’s feelings, needs, likes and dislikes clearly. And if you sacrifice your own needs and happiness to satisfy other persons desires, you may end up with fight and disappointment, so convey your feelings too. Understanding grows properly when a person understands himself and other persons emotions, desires, needs and work out mutually. This is a way to make relations strong.
We meet different people and build different type of relations such as family, colleague, teacher, student, children, boss, friend, romantic relations. It is very important to understand that in different relations we have different part to play. And there are different expectations in every relation. Sometimes, these expectations are clearly understood by both the parties and sometimes they just develop as people spend time with each other.
Depth and sincerity in relations are most important factors. We should have few good and solid relations, rather than focusing on too many people, who slip in and out of your life, as and when they want. Relationships are to provide emotional fulfilment that humans need as social animal. People have an innate need to feel loved, connected, and important to someone else. Some people feel this need more strongly, some don’t. Even if you don’t want the emotional benefits of relationships, you can benefit for networking, career opportunities, someone to call when you are in trouble.
A healthy relationship requires two ways traffic. Try to not to waste time in arguing. In relationship try to keep check on happiness of each other. Fulfil your promises. Don’t just say you will get a birthday gift and forget about it. By doing this other person will lose trust in you. If your memory is not good, write it down on personal diary or set a reminder in your cell phone. Try to keep your promises. If you cannot keep your promises, admit your mistake. You have to be responsible for your actions and cannot make anyone else guilty or responsible for your own mistakes. If you notice a mistake, apologize for the same without wasting time. Be realistic and loyal in your relationship.
What makes a relationship strong and healthy, choose the ways and resolve those problems and push though the hard days, instead of just later issues. Working on problems will help you to be positive. Positivity helps in making relations good.